Hemi Cuda
Well-known member
This is even funnier when you realize it's real!
Next time you have a bad
day at work...think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global
Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling
rigs. Below is an e-mail
he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial
in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst
job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Beverly,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
you realize it's not so
bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
must bore you with a few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office
lies at the bottom of the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece
of equipment sucks the
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. It then
pumps it down to the diver through a hose, which is
taped to the air
hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used
it several times with
no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom
and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
wetsuit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my
butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
worse. Within a few
seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
out of my suit, but
the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The hot water
machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
my suit. Now, since I
don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However,
the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched what I thought
was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish
into the crack of my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over
the communicator. His
instructions were unclear since he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed
to make three
agonizing, in-water, decompression stops totaling
thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing
but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water the medic, with tears
of laughter running down
his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon
as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,
but I couldn't poop
for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
about how much worse it
would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my
job, I love my job."
Next time you have a bad
day at work...think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global
Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling
rigs. Below is an e-mail
he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial
in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst
job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Beverly,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
you realize it's not so
bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
must bore you with a few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office
lies at the bottom of the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece
of equipment sucks the
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. It then
pumps it down to the diver through a hose, which is
taped to the air
hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used
it several times with
no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom
and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
wetsuit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my
butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
worse. Within a few
seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
out of my suit, but
the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The hot water
machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
my suit. Now, since I
don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However,
the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched what I thought
was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish
into the crack of my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over
the communicator. His
instructions were unclear since he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed
to make three
agonizing, in-water, decompression stops totaling
thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing
but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water the medic, with tears
of laughter running down
his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon
as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,
but I couldn't poop
for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
about how much worse it
would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my
job, I love my job."
