Gio?

[wingnit]

Italian Bread

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87 year old said; "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps
your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was
looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said,
"Do you have any Italian bread?" She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it.
Would you like some?" He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves...don't you think by the time you get
to the 5th loaf it'll be hard?"

He replied, "Holy crap...! Everybody in the world knows about this
Italian bread thing but ME....?!"

 

[giowest]

Wife keeps telling me to act my age and "turn that thingy off"

 

[dodgechargerfan]

See, I thought it would have been this one: (for those keeping score, Gio's the interviewer.)

A guy goes to the government to interview for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you a veteran?"

The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam."

"Good," says the interviewer, "That counts in your favor. Do you have
any service-related disabilities?"

The guy says, "In fact I am 100% disabled. During a battle, an explosion
removed my private parts so they declared me disabled, it doesn't affect my
ability to work, though."

"Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you, I
can hire you right now! Our working hours are 8 to 4. Come on in about 10,
and we'll get you started."

The guy says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to
come at 10?"

"Well, here at the government, we don't do anything but sit around and
scratch our balls for the first two hours. No point of your coming in
for that.

 

[wingnit]

[smilie=b: [smilie=p:

 

[b-body-bob]

Wife keeps telling me to act my age and "turn that thingy off"

What, the TV?

Tell her to enjoy it while she can, from watching all the E.D. commercials on TV it apparently quits working on it's own at some point. [smilie=eggface.gif]

 

[b-body-bob]

"Well, here at the government, we don't do anything but sit around and
scratch our balls for the first two hours. No point of your coming in
for that.

Us contractors have it even better, we get to scracth all day long.