Foggy
Well-known member
the best of us all............
For those of us who have enjoyed the Canadian Passport routine!!!!
Subject
Fw: Actual Passport
Letter....Hilarious..
Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office
Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot
believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number
and knows
that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the
Federal
Government is still asking me where I was born and on what
date..
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on
all the
income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my
health
insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn
passports
I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had
to fill
out
before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and
all those
insufferable census forms that are done at election
times..
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name
is
Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely
astounded if
that
ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
SHIT!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off this morning.
Between you
an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the
application to my
house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is going on?
You have
a
gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want
to dig up
Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my
ass on a
sandy
beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit
whether I plan
on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge
to do
something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure
as hell
not
want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of
the city
and
get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of
$60!!!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same
spot to
assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd
rather have us
running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads
cut off,
then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the
goddamn
picture
- you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?!
(fuckin'
morons)
Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed
off!
Signed - An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting
someone to
confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country
since 1776
when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans.
I have
served
in the military for something over 30 years and have had
security
clearances
up the yingyang.
I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province
for ten
years
and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five
years.
However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am -
you know,
someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST
fucking CHINA
!!!
:bwuhaha:
For those of us who have enjoyed the Canadian Passport routine!!!!
Subject
Fw: Actual Passport
Letter....Hilarious..
Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office
Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot
believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number
and knows
that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the
Federal
Government is still asking me where I was born and on what
date..
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on
all the
income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my
health
insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn
passports
I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had
to fill
out
before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and
all those
insufferable census forms that are done at election
times..
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name
is
Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely
astounded if
that
ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
SHIT!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off this morning.
Between you
an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the
application to my
house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is going on?
You have
a
gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want
to dig up
Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my
ass on a
sandy
beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit
whether I plan
on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge
to do
something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure
as hell
not
want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of
the city
and
get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of
$60!!!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same
spot to
assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd
rather have us
running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads
cut off,
then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the
goddamn
picture
- you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?!
(fuckin'
morons)
Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed
off!
Signed - An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting
someone to
confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country
since 1776
when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans.
I have
served
in the military for something over 30 years and have had
security
clearances
up the yingyang.
I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province
for ten
years
and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five
years.
However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am -
you know,
someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST
fucking CHINA
!!!
:bwuhaha: