Bob!

[Stretch]

 

[dodgechargerfan]

A woman, tired of living alone, decides to put an ad in the local paper. She asks for three things: 1. A man who will treat her nicely, 2. A man who won't leave her, and 3. A man who is good in bed.

Several weeks go by without a result, and the woman is resigned to life without a man who can embody those qualities.
Then, the doorbell rings and she opens it to find an armless, legless man in a wheelchair.

He says, "I'm here about the ad in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms, so I can't beat you, and I have no legs, so I can't run away from you."

The woman is skeptical, and asks, "Yeah, but are you good in bed?" The man answers, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

 

[Dr.Jass]

So she lifted him off his wheelchair, left him there in front of the door, and named him Matt.

 

[TheIronSausage]

He called out for help to his friend hiding in the bushes, Russell.

 

[Dr.Jass]

His two friends hanging on either side of the window, Curt and Rod, were unable to assist.

 

[TheIronSausage]

Ironically, he recalled that something similar had happened next to a houseboat years ago. Only that it had happened to his brother, Pierre. (Hey it was a stretch.. But you used my name.. )

 

[Dr.Jass]

Ah... but I didn't know that I had. That's such a stretch it probably would break prior to reaching its intended length.

 

[dodgechargerfan]

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

























Right where you left him.

 

[TheIronSausage]

What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?













Getting them out of their wheelchairs

 

[thrashingcows]

Trucker buddy sent me this one the other day...."What's the difference between a Hindu and a toilet....a toilet can back up!"

 

[Dr.Jass]

Back to the original vein of humor in this thread...

 

[dodgechargerfan]

Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s Mansion?



Neither has he.