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New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn. New Rule: Don't eat anything that's...

http://media.putfile.com/Never-Scare-a-Brother

C'mon, click the linky. Ya know ya want to....:p http://www.moparnuts.com/forums/vBChat.php?

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be...

A man came home from an exhausting day at work, plopped down on the couch in front of the television, and told his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!" The wife sighed and got him a beer. Ten minutes later, he said, "Get me another beer before it starts!" She looked cross, but fetched...

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the...

Top 27 unbelievable facts that most people don’t know 27. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&...G=Google+Search 26. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it. http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&...egs&btnG=Search 25...

http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em next time" would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. (I got a problem with this...

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're...

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy's homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence. 1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody. 2. Dictate - My girlfriend say my dictate good. 3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other...

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite." "OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?" "Now really," the...

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes. Mind if I ask how you got yours." The other guy says, "Well...

Most of America's populace thinks it very improper to spank children, so Cathy and I have tried other methods to control our kids when they have one of "those moments". One that we found very effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. They usually calm down and stop...

Your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing.... You're okay with it, because you get to watch sports all night.... You hear her stumble into bed around 4am... You laugh knowing she's going to have a monster hangover.... You wake up next morning... You go outside to the...

Well, sorta... My brother's V-10 Ram got totaled (bodywise) by the insurance company after it was in New Orleans for Katrina so he needed something to replace it. I think he made a wise choice...:dance: From what he told me it's a 43 Dodge Panel Wagon on a 78 New Yorker chassis. 318, AT, PS...

1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat" 2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella. 3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. 4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest...

"Most users ever online was 75, 10-03-2005 at 08:24 AM." 75???:eek: [smilie=2: :eek: [smilie=2: :eek: [/size][size=2]Wow!

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang... "Hello, Mr Hussein", a heavily accented voice said..."This is Delroy down at Pinkie's Bar n Lounge in Spanish Town, Jamaica. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on...

Dottie was working in the kitchen listening to her grandson playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her grandson saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now... cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of...