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my wife wanted me to buy her something that goes from 0-60 in less than 8 seconds----so i bought her a set of scales:bravo: ORVIL

i saved 5 guy,s yesterday from a burning joint---:bravo: -ORVIL

A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?" The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and suddenly saw there was a tree right in...

I have a friend who is moving to Atlanta. going to 1,st year dentistry at a hospital and doing internship there.. anyone who lives there could help me out would appreciate it. PM me and everything is confidential. i would like someonr to help him out down there. i am talking GEORGIA-- DEEP...

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband chasing flies around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh, have you killed any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?" He...

I've heard better calls at a square dance! I've heard better calls between two tin cans and a piece of string! Hey Blue, were you looking for the curve? So which one of you is the designated driver? Move a little Ump, you're growing' roots! :doh: -----------------now that baseball season is here...

:bwuhaha:http://www.crazyphotos.com/thumbs/11225269-thumb.jpg :bwuhaha: :bwuhaha: :bwuhaha:

he,s still nutz for her and she,s squirrley over him------i could,nt let this one pass---ORVIL[smilie=::

My wife and i are going to the hospital this morning.. she got 2 - upper and lower - molars to be pulled.. one on top of the other......and she gets dry sockets and no she doesn,t smoke. BUT she does have a tendancy to get real sick. i hate to see her in pain.. so we are on our way to London...

write a book about some of the friends i.ve had over the years------VERN, JIMMEY,DIRTY FREDDY, FAT FRED, HB.,BONZO,ARMY DOC,AL THE MECHANIC, AND MORE.. when i think back about it no wonder im f-chin deprest:bwuhaha: . the way some of these guy,s carried on it,s a wonder we are still...

.. big Rotty down the road got killed by a tea cup chiwawa-sorry i can,t spell it.....got caught in the Rotties throat-----what was it thinkin ? quick bite or what.? farmer down the road is upset.--- a day in the life of the country:eek:

---3 Newfoundlanders gotta go back to school and learn Math cause the fishin isn,t to good and their looking for something better. While there they have to take english to. so the teacher says to use the word fasinate in a sentence.Lonny says he can do it and says ---this school work fasinates...

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, 'I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through.'" • "I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."---------:doh: ORVIL

DID i ever tell you about the time------i had just bought another gravel truck and brought it home.. i walked inside and my wife gave me one of those stares --the kind that could blow a hole thru a nuclear reactor..I went to kiss her and she was cold and i mean cold bone chillin mad- so i...

in case their horns don,t work:bwuhaha: ORVIL

("Specialist: Electric Chair Can Be 'Extremely Painful'") I wouldn,t know about this -- but i would think the message would feel good ..... there has to be a health benifit to it somewhere--like taking away tense muscles, shaky leg syndrome, constipation,spasms,involintary movements,and...

Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25." :)