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A woman goes over to her married son's house and walks in to find her daughter-in-law sitting in a chair, entirely nude. The mother-in-law says, “What the hell are you doing?” “I'm wearing my love dress,” responds the daughter-in-law, “We haven't made love in a long time.” So the mother-in-law...

A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The...

There were four country churches in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much...

A man walks into a pub and says, "Give me three pints of Guinness, please." So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold...

What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Sexual harassment. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? $3.99 a minute.

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Orvil, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!'' Orvil says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''

One day at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son is choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!" A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his...

One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is. "Well," says Bubba...

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. 'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.' Confused, the father asked what was wrong. The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunn y'...

Three railroad workers, a Chinese man, an Italian, and a redneck, are all sitting down to lunch. The Chinese man says, "If I get another egg roll in my lunch, I'll kill myself." The Italian guy says, "If I get another slice of pizza, I'll kill myself." The redneck says, "Iffin I get another...

:D

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." "I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why...

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree. As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman...

XL's wife came home the other night and told him to take off her blouse. Then she told him to take off her skirt. Then she told him not to wear her clothes anymore. :bwuhaha:

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out...

An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. A smartass in the back of the room asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class did...

A little boy and his father are walking down the street, and they see two dogs having sex. The little boy asks his father, “Daddy, what are they doing?” The father says, “Making a puppy.” So they walk on and go home. A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The...

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, ''What is that?'' ''They're smart pills,'' said the other boy. ''Eat them and they'll make you smarter. So he ate them and said, ''These taste like sh*t.'' ''See,'' said the other boy...

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room---the first surgeries of the day.The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?' The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.' The first...

I recieved a phone call last night from Notaduster, turns out he was in the area and wanted to meet for breakfast today (Sunday). I was thrilled to hear from him and to get the chance to meet in person. Nodda and his lovely wife showed at my house this morning and I happily showed them the RR...